Disappearance
by Mae M.G
Summary: Almost a decade ago, Hermione Granger left England and disappeared. When she arrives to pay her respect to a loved one at a memorial burial, she's in for a huge surprise. She's soon drawn back into her old life with familiar faces and familiar feelings. With the magical world once again at the brink of war, she must stay and accept that running away won't solve anything.
1. Burial

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not and will not ever belong to me.  
>Story Rating: MA<strong>**  
><strong>**Song Inspiration: Human by Christina Perri**

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><p><strong>Disappearance<strong>

**I. Burial**

Everyone came. Who wouldn't? Who wouldn't pay tribute to a famous war hero and Auror? Even after saving the magical community, Harry Potter still became an Auror much to Hermione's dismay. She had hoped that after all the hardships that Harry would find peace. She fully expected him to take back up with Ginny, settle down, get married, and make a big family. Although, they dated for a little bit, Harry had decided that the line of work he was heading into would be too dangerous to have a wife and family. Hermione witnessed the explosive fight between Harry and Ginny.

It had devastated the Weasleys, but they understood why Harry did what he did. Ginny fell apart, but she eventually started moving on slowly. For months, she watched Harry torture himself watching Ginny from afar move on with her life and date other wizards. She even encouraged Harry to break his own rules and find happiness with Ginny. Harry would always shake his head and drown himself in firewhiskey. She had always thought that watching Ron love someone else would crush her. It had certainly hurt, but it didn't compare to watching Harry pine after Ginny. She watched his internal struggle and she swore she felt his pain.

Developing a backbone, she finally confronted Harry about the reason why he couldn't be with Ginny. Hermione had realized that it was far worse to watch Harry slowly die watching the love of his life fall for someone else than herself watching the love of her life slowly dying while the love of his life fell for someone else.

"Harry, you can't keep doing this to yourself," she had told him, trying desperately to keep his questing hands from the glass of firewhiskey.

He shook his head, grumbling words. His hands tried to peel off her fingers.

"Harry, please, you need to stop this."

His emerald eyes looked to hers then.

"You need to tell her how you truly feel. This-This can't go on anymore like this."

He shook his head at his refusal. He finally obtained the glass from her grip and downed the rest of the contents in the glass. Hermione's heart clenched as she witnessed Harry once again block out his pain with alcohol.

"I can't see you like this, Harry," she gasped. "I-I can't watch you just wither away into nothingness."

"Then leave."

The words sliced into her. The shock of them took her breath away and she couldn't breathe. Tears filled her eyes. Quickly bowing her head and averting her eyes, she chewed her bottom lip, trying to figure out what to do now. She felt a hand upon hers and she finally looked into his.

"Hermione, you have an entire life to live," he whispered, giving her a half smile. "There's no reason for you to waste away here with me. You are the brightest witch of your age. You should recognize a lost cause."

A lost cause, she had thought to herself that night. Yes, she had her fair share of lost causes. Ron and her relationship had been a lost cause. Her unrequited love for Harry had definitely been a lost cause that Ron had exploited to his advantage. Everyone knew of her affections when it came to Harry bloody Potter. Merlin, she herself was a lost cause, wanting to rescue a wizard that she could never rescue, because it wasn't her that could save him.

It was Ginny Weasley.

And if it wasn't Ginny then it would be someone else.

She knew Harry was strong enough to eventually move on and find some semblance of a life. Even when he stared drunkenly into her eyes, luck and fate were always on the Chosen One's side. She was just the sidekick… his best friend. That's all she ever was. In fact, that's what she was to Ron when he realized that it was just a childhood fantasy to be involved with her. Ron had also told her that it would do her no good to pine after Harry… that he too would only see her as a childhood fantasy if he ever got involved with her. She believed him too, because he was evidence of that fact.

"If that's what you want…" she trailed off.

She had quickly attempted to gather her belongings.

"Hermione," Harry called out to her, catch her wrist as she attempted to leave. "Please, don't do that. I don't mean to hurt you. I'm-I'm trying to look out for you."

"You don't think I'm trying to do that for you?"

"That's different."

He looked down.

"How is that different?"

"Merlin, Hermione. I love her. I love her so much that it hurts to watch her move on, but it would hurt much more not to see her move on."

She tore herself away for him. "You don't know anything."

With that, she jumped off her stool, rushing away. She needed to leave before she made a bigger fool of herself. She knew she would regret telling him the truth if it escaped from the imprisonment of her heart. Tears were quick to fall as she made it outside. In the darkness of night, she had attempted to make way to the apparition point to head back to her flat. What she hadn't counted on that night was Harry following her and exposing her secrets to the surface.

He had just grabbed her and turned her around. The look in his eyes were stormy, ready to let it hail upon her. The words were caught in his throat as he stared into her eyes. Whatever he saw in them sobered him up quickly. He frowned, just gazing into her as if he was delving into the depths of her soul and heart. When she attempted to leave again, he only held on tighter as he pulled her close again.

"Hermione…" he whispered.

He just continued to look into her eyes. When his fingertips brushed against her skin to wipe away her tears, she sucked in a breath at his gentle touch.

"Hermione, why are you crying?"

She shook her head, refusing to speak aloud the words. Ron's warning echoed loudly in her mind. Harry was drunk and not of the right mind. If there was ever a time to tell Harry, _this_ bloody wasn't the right time to do it. She continued her silence even when he begged her to open up to him. Her racing heartbeat was too loud in her mind and chest. Even when she tried to pull away, he refused and held tighter until she made the mistake of looking into his eyes again. That had always been her downfall, because she could drown within them forever.

"I know. I know how it feels, Harry," she rasped finally. "Because I do it every single day with you."

He swallowed heavily. His eyes continued to stare into hers, gutting her and exposing her every secret. Realization seemed to dawn upon him. She could see it clearly in his eyes as if he was suddenly seeing everything for the first time. She licked her lips nervously when his eyes darkened in determination. She was expecting him to laugh outright at her. She wanted him to so they could go back to being Harry and Hermione – the Harry and Hermione that everyone knew them as. He was just staring at her with this look in his eyes and she quite certain what to make of it.

She cleared her throat. "H-Harry-"

His name was then lost on her lips.

Silenced by an unexpected kiss, she froze, uncertain what to do. She shouldn't give into her selfish emotions. He was hurting… and bloody drunk. He wouldn't remember a bloody thing tomorrow. Before she could formulate a plan to thwart him, his kiss began to thaw her, melt her, and devour her. She was getting lost in the taste, feel, and intensity of the kiss. She was done for then. It had been so easy to fall in love with him and it was just as natural and easy to fall into bed with him. They had fumbled with taking each other's clothes off.

In her mind, she had known this was a onetime thing. She would follow Harry's request after this one selfish night. She would _leave_. Eventually Harry would find someone else, she had no doubt about that and he would decide the risk would be worth it. He had never truly told her about why he couldn't take the next step with Ginny. Then again, Harry had left Ginny once before for her safety in the beginning of the war. It really wasn't a surprise that he had decided this route now that he was Auror. She had decided if she only had one night that she would enjoy it. Contrary to belief, she never lost her virginity to Ron, but she had with Harry that night. For being as drunk as he was, he had been gentle and endearing, but she spurred him on. She would deal with the pain of it later, but her body could take it for now. She wanted to really _know_ Harry.

At dawn, she had left. She knew nothing would become of it. She just wanted to be a little selfish. With the memories, she disappeared from England, leaving for some place where nobody would find her. She had heard through the grapevine that Harry was doing well and thriving. Reports were coming in about his success as an Auror. Apparently, he was dating again. At least that's what the newspaper was saying. She knew it would happen, but it still hurt. She would torture herself thinking about him going on dates and making love to them.

Nothing compared to the pain that shook her straight to the core. She remembered the exact moment that she read that Harry Potter was killed in action. It had been morning and she was sipping on her cup of tea. The moment her eyes read the headline that the cup slipped from her fingers. She barely heard it shatter as she crumbled into tears. When she was strong enough, she grabbed the newspaper and padded to her sofa. She had plopped down and forced herself to read the article. The article said they were holding a memorial burial in his honor open to the public.

For the first time in nearly a decade, she stepped on English soil to pay tribute to her deceased best friend – the love of her life. The memorial burial was beautiful. Ron stood up at the podium and spoke on Harry's life. She wanted nothing more than to comfort him as he barely made it through his speech. Her eyes traveled around familiar faces. She spotted Ginny being comforted by Molly and she knew that the redhead never truly moved on from Harry. She thought savagely that nobody ever moved on from Harry bloody Potter.

It was until everyone had left and Ron was just standing alone at Harry's grave that Hermione decided to make herself known. She slowly made her way to the grave of the wizard she loved so deeply it hurt. Silently, she stood next to Ron until he turned to her. She could feel his eyes upon her and she was almost fearful of Ron's reaction. When she finally looked at her best friend, Ron had a small smile on his face.

"He said you'd come," he said.

Hermione frowned at the strange response. "Wh-What?"

"We don't have much time. We need to move quickly."

"I don't understand."

"War is inevitable," he told her. "It'll break out. Harry predicts fairly soon."

Wide-eyed, she looked at Ron as if he had two heads. She opened her mouth to question him, but she didn't have time to voice her thoughts when Ron grabbed her hand. They were moving quickly through the graveyard, deeper into it until they reached the wall. She was about protest again, but Ron reached into the climbing thickness of vines and bushes. Startled, she watched the wall glow in the shape of a rectangle and Ron pushed, forcing the rock to swing open. She was surprised to see that it led to a secret courtyard.

"R-Ron?" she stammered. "Wh-What is the meaning of this?"

Ron quickly dragged her in the middle of the courtyard. "We needed to find a way to bring you home and make the other side think they have an advantage," he explained, looking around frantically. "Bloody hell, where is that wanker?"

"Ron, you're not making any-"

"Harry, you're bloody late!"


	2. No Escape

**To be honest: I'm not exactly sure if this will be a long story or short one yet. I'm just trying to see where and the exact pacing of the story leads.**

**Song Inspiration: The Heart Wants What it Wants by Selena Gomez and Animals by Maroon 5**

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><p><strong>Disappearance<strong>  
><strong>II. No Escape<strong>

"Harry, you're bloody late!"

Hermione's eyes widened at Ron's remark, quickly scanning the courtyard to find a very much alive Harry Potter striding towards them. If it hadn't been for Ron being so close, she was certain she would've dropped to the ground. The shock, the fear, and the emotions overwhelmed Hermione as she struggled to not completely lose sense of reality.

Harry wasn't here. They just buried him. He couldn't possibly be here right now. The moment her knees gave out on her, Ron seemed to instinctively catch her body. Harry seemed to pick up speed as well as he helped cradle Hermione's body as they gently lowered her to the ground.

"H-Harry?" she stammered out.

Her hands reached out, testing the body of this bittersweet illusion. This illusion was definitely solid. Her hands rose and fell with his steady breathing. Those tears that she had been desperately keeping back now escaped, slipping out from the corners of her eyes. Her fingers dug into the material of his clothes.

"Hermione," he murmured.

"Is it really you?"

She watched him as he cupped her face. She felt him. She could feel him touching her and she just completely lost it, giving into the desire to lose control.

"Yes, it's me," he whispered, pulling her fully into his arms and lap. "I'm right here."

She let him embrace her tightly. All she did was tunnel more into his body, wrapping her body around his. She needed to feel him and breathe him in. She cried pathetically in his neck as she tucked her head underneath his chin. Too overcome with emotion to force herself to get ahold of herself, she let him rock her back and forth in his arms. She felt him draw back slightly and drop a kiss at the top of her head.

"I need to go and check on the family."

Ron's voice cut through her. Hermione stiffened, realizing her weakness was not only being witnessed by Harry, which was bad in itself, but also by Ron. She bit her lip as she slow withdrew from Harry's embrace. Her eyes took a quick sweep of Harry's face and body, taking inventory of every part of him. He was alive and well. The barely adult man she left was now a man. It made her look over at Ron, crouching down beside them. Both of them looked so different yet... so them. Before she could get more of a handle of herself, she reached over and grabbed Ron up in her arms.

She heard his chuckle as he held her tightly before he pulled back. He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, just as Harry in a way had.

"More reunion time later," he promised. "I have to go check up on everyone and fill them in. Charlie, Bill, and George are keeping an eye on everybody, but they're waiting for my arrival to transfer to here. I'll be back, okay?"

When she nodded slowly, he smirked and gave Hermione another quick kiss on the forehead before exchanging meaningful looks with Harry. He left the way he came, leaving Hermione with Harry. She chewed her bottom lip as she wondered what was going on. Why was Ron transferring the family over? Harry's stare was burning into her. She flushed, finally turning to him.

"We should head in."

She blinked. "Head in?"

He nodded, helping her to her feet. "The others are waiting."

Others? She frowned, but she didn't fight him as he led her inside. Wherever she was going she knew would receive answers so she followed him into the lair.

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><p>A new evil had arose in her absence. Apparently, this lair was the new hideout for the Aurors. The only reason why they went to extremes was there had been assassination attempt on Harry this year. He was badly wounded, but he was healed up quickly by the healers. The attempts on Harry's life was increasing as he and the Aurors were getting closer and closer to unearthing the truth. Once they obtained the information that confirmed their suspicions about an underground faction of purebloods still owing their allegiance to Voldemort, they felt it was necessary to execute Harry's mock death rather than send him into hiding. He was after all needed in this upcoming war. They felt that Harry's death would draw out not only the faction's true intentions, but they had hoped draw out other people from hiding that would help their cause. She couldn't help but blush when all eyes seemed to drift to her.<p>

"I-I don't think I'll be of much help," she had told them.

The incredulous stares seemed to only increase. She could feel Harry's own eyes burning into her as well.

She sighed, realizing there would be no way out of this. She had been thinking of sneaking out until the Weasleys began appearing. Their shock of seeing both herself and Harry caused a scene that she swore she would suffocate under the pressure of their embraces. Harry wasn't faring that well either as they enveloped him in their arms. She didn't miss Ginny's reunion with Harry. She watched the teary-eyed redhead throw herself at him and drawing him into a heartfelt kiss as well.

Tearing herself away from the image of the fated lovers, she sighed, knowing this would eventually happen. She had hoped that the distance and time would've dulled her feelings for Harry, but the moment her eyes found him walking towards her in the courtyard, she knew that wasn't true. It only made one thing ever so clear and that was the fact she still had deep, deep feelings for him. She took a deep breath, daring to take a step aside away from the others. She stood still as she looked up at the sky and let the events sink into her. She was back in England on the brink of war. Her best friend, the man of her dreams, was still alive and well, probably getting lucky with _his_ own love of his life.

"Strange to be back?"

Hermione jumped and turned, coming face to face to Ron.

"Just a little," she murmured.

"You look great," he told her. "It's great to finally see you after so long."

She smiled at that. It felt good to be missed. She wondered if anybody would ever be truly affected by her absence. She glanced over at him, looking him closely. Ron had grown into a strapping man. Instead of the lankiness of his usual build, he had acquired some muscles.

"You look great too."

He smirked. "I hope so. Harry had me training."

She remained silent for a moment before her curiosity got ahold of her. "How… How has Harry been?"

"He's good… But you could always ask him yourself."

She frowned at his response. She turned to question him only to see Harry leaning against the wall close to Ron. The words she was about to say got lost in her throat and she looked back and forth between her two best friends.

"So?" Ron clucked, drawing her attention. "Are you going to tell us what you've been up to?"

Hermione bit her lip. "Living life."

"Uh-huh," he mumbled. "Care to elaborate?" When she shook her head, it was his return to frown. "Why not? You've been gone since forever and you're not even going to at least tell us where you've been."

She flushed. What she didn't want to say, she ended up blurting out: "In case I need to leave again."

There was just silence. She could tell that they both didn't like _that_ answer at all. She risked a glance up at their faces and immediately wished she hadn't. Ron shook his head and put up his hands in surrender. He glanced over at Harry then patted his back.

"I'm sorry. I can't," he said. "You told me to play nice."

Harry nodded. Ron gave Hermione a tightlipped smile before he walked away. She watched him go until Harry cleared his throat. She forced herself to meet his eyes. The look in his eyes was intense and determined. He pushed off the wall and stepped right up to her. She was tempted to take a step backwards until he instinctively read her body signs and reached out to grab her arms.

"Running away doesn't solve anything."

She swallowed. "I-I know."

"Don't you think it's time to stop running?"

His question burned into her mind. She'd give anything to stop running, but she knew if she did that they'd find her. She knew deep down that no matter what position she held in life that Harry would always find her. He had the resources too. He could find her in a heartbeat if she stuck around long enough in one area. She mainly lived off the grid doing odd jobs. She became a member in a secret elite group that were aligned with the vast network of Aurors spread out across the world. That's how she managed to gain access to information about Harry and still helping the cause. She was actually aware of the possible arising of Voldemort followers, but she hadn't realized it was this bad. She had been out on the field, taking back to back assignments.

She had been on the run since she left England. With the kind of work she was now involved in, she was always on the run – disappearing and reappearing. She didn't want to admit that she choose this line of work, because it resembled Harry's career choice without having to outright becoming an Auror.

She shook her head. "I can't. It's-It's my job."

What she hadn't expected from her slight confession was for Harry to smirk. There was this look in his eyes that made her feel unsettled.

"Hermione, I know you're a part of Carpe Diem." Her mouth dropped at his confession. Her voice seemed to lose it's will to come forth, but that didn't matter since Harry wasn't quite done shocking her. "You really think you can hide anything from me? Sure, it was nearly impossible to lock you down, because you're that good. You forget though I'm head of operations. I approve all interaction with other agencies."

"If you knew then..." she trailed off confused.

"Because I didn't want to spook you," he said, reaching out to her.

She felt his hand wrap around her upper arm and tug her forward. Her eyes immediately locked on his as she looked up fully into his face. Harry seemed to be studying her face, taking time to evaluate the lines and angles on her face. She chewed her bottom lip as her eyes wandered down to that mouth of his. She wanted to lean in and just taste him again. She wondered how he truly tasted when he didn't taste like firewhiskey. The fever in her began to pick up and she foolishly started to move forward, hypnotized by him and that mouth. Yes, that mouth that had been occupied kissing Ginny Weasley and she stiffened at that ruthless mental point. She flushed, forcing herself to look into his eyes again, but her heart clenched as she realized he had witnessed that moment of weakness.

"Would you have ran if I suddenly showed up?" he questioned.

"Of course not."

He leaned forward so his mouth was close to her ear. "Don't lie to me, Hermione."

"Maybe."

Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his lips skim over her cheek. She felt him push her backwards until her back was pressed against the wall. Trapped, she attempted to struggle, but both his hands were on either side of her. His face so was close to hers. His mouth hovering over hers and she chewed bottom lip, wanting nothing more to close it. She forced herself still, squeezing her eyes shut as if that would alleviate that ache.

"Don't," he whispered. "Lie."

Her eyes popped open. Now emerald and brown collided, daring the other to move.

"I would've ran."

He paused, sighing for a moment.

"We're going to have to work on that."

His remark was quick to the point and so was his next action. His hand slid behind her head as he pulled her forward into a kiss. She had no defense against this as the tender assault continued. Merlin, she tried to push away and keep her wits, but like the first kiss, he was in control of her. He was breaking through into the part of her that craved this. That part of her that was so vulnerable to him – only to him. Her hands finally slid up upon his body and she pushed, causing Harry to break the kiss. For one intense moment, they stared into each other's eyes. Their eyes just burned into each other's souls as if they were desperately attempting to find a home in one another.

That part of her that she forced down that searched out Harry won over her. It set her on fire and there was no turning back. She gave into it. Her hands were still upon him and her fingers were already curling into the fabric of his shirt. With fistfuls of fabric, she tugged him forward, kissing him. Her fire within her scorching him, forcing him to submit to claim him. She devoured any protests that he may have had as she moved her mouth against his. Her fire forced him to burn, to smolder, and to crave her. Their tongues danced together and she wanted to taste more of him. He tasted much better than firewhiskey. The taste of him was intoxicating that she held unto him tighter and he did as well. His hands burned a path across her body.

"Harry…"

His name rolled off of the tongue, but it wasn't hers. No, it hadn't been her and there was reality waiting, lingering behind the smoke and fire. Her eyes snapped open, realizing what she had let happened and she shoved her hands against his body. It felt as if cold freezing water doused her feverish mind and body as she scooted away from her best friend. Her eyes soon fell upon the one person she prayed that it wouldn't be, but it was and it had to be.

Ginny Weasley stood at the opening of the lair. Hermione took in the tears within her blue eyes. The canvas emotion swept over the beautiful redhead. She swore she could hear the poor girl's heartbreak… or maybe it was hers. Hermione placed her hand against her mouth as if that could've stopped the desire to kiss him again. Her eyes slid to him and he was staring at Ginny, standing with her heart breaking in front of him.

He sighed then.

"Ginny?" he called out her name softly.

She just shook her head at him and she stormed off away from him. Hermione shouldn't have been surprised that he left her to take off after Ginny. She watched helplessly as she saw once again everything repeating itself – her watching Harry chase after Ginny. She couldn't leave now and she knew it not with the war evidently coming. Not when she now knew that Harry had been keeping tabs on her throughout the years and was more than capable of tracking her down.

It was time to stop running and face reality even with how bleak it was. She watched for a few moments as Ginny and Harry's voice carried. She was interrupting again. She seemed to always interrupt Harry's life. Her heart shattered when Harry pulled Ginny into his arms and she couldn't watch the rest. It would break her strength to keep running so she turned and walked back inside the lair.


	3. Desperation

**Thank you so much for the reviews. Glad everyone seems to like it so far. :)**

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><p><strong>Disappearance<br>****III. Desperation**

Harry was right. War did break out now that they thought Harry Potter, the savoir of the magical community, was gone. It was a bit strange that how Harry seemed to have everything in control. He used to rely on her for everything – to keep grounded, to plan, and to strategize. Not that Harry wasn't perfectly capable, but he now shone with leadership skills. The way he handled the others was a bit of surreal, but she couldn't help but be proud of him.

This Harry was unstoppable. He had grown into the role that fate and destiny had elected him for.

Somehow Hermione had always known that the peaceful life that should've been what Harry welcomed was not meant for him. It was hard to go back to a regular life after being forced at a young age to fight and to lead. That's possibly why most of their generation seemed to go into Ministry positions. Even Ron seemed to do a huge turnaround, she eyed the redhead standing next Harry with the group of Aurors, peering at a world map.

She was paying attention. She really was until her eyes drifted to Harry's mouth. She wondered where that mouth had been beside upon hers. The heated flare shot through her. It seemed the first breath of life after so long. Fury seemed to push to the forefront. How could Harry use her emotions to his advantage to get what he wanted? She had heard that Harry's father James was a charmer. It seemed that Harry was finally inheriting his father's charming attributes, slipping away from his quiet awkwardness.

When he spoke, his voice carried firm and resolute. People listened and didn't question. They did what he asked. He had seemed to learn the concept of persuasion and executed it brilliantly. Begrudgingly admitting that he seemed to use that power of persuasion when it came to her. Hermione bloody Granger wasn't weak nor was she easily swayed. Where was her backbone? Where was that girl years ago that stood by her best friends and played a part of defeating Voldemort?

She would stay, because it was the right thing to do. No matter how she changed throughout the years, she wasn't the kind to cower in the shadows while others fought. Nobody would be fighting her battles. She straightened her back. It was time to give show her true colors again. Merlin, she was a bloody war hero! While this was going through her mind, her eyes snapped to the gaze burning into her and she met those pair of emeralds. She let that fire within her burn. She was not a puppet and she certainly wasn't his puppet.

There was only one problem with her newfound confidence – that wizard right there staring back at her. Instead of flinching or averting his eyes, Harry just smirked. Why did it always feel now that he was a step ahead of her?

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><p>"Hermione?"<p>

She sat there still in deep thought.

"Hermione?"

Her eyes focused on emeralds one right before her before she completely snapped out of her daze. She flushed in embarrassment, looking up from her seat at the meeting. Harry was across the table with hands pressed against the edge. Everyone had already filed out of the room in search of the obviously cooking food due to the delicious and familiar aroma of Molly's cooking. The only one who still lingered was surprisingly Ron at the doorway.

"Hermione, would you mind coming to my office?" Harry asked, gathering up the reports in front of him and putting the documents in their right manila folder. "I'd like to further discuss some details with you."

"Can that wait until after supper?"

Or never? She was tempted to throw that in.

"No, it's actually important," he told her. "We've already contacted Carpe Diem. They're coming within a day or two with Walkins."

Startled that Harry had evidently a close alliance with Carpe Diem, Hermione could only stare at him. Hendrick Walkins was Carpe Diem's head of operations, so to speak. Harry really could've just tracked her down without any issue. Harry cleared his throat, waiting for her to answer. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out and she glanced over at their other best friend. Ron was looking back and forth between them before smirking, giving Hermione a wink when his eyes settled on hers.

"I'll save you both a plate then."

The bloody wanker left then. Hermione returned her gaze to Harry, who had finished arranging the files. He gave her a lopsided smile.

"Hermione, I'm not going to bite," he promised. "My office is a little down the hall."

She could nod her head in agreement and she followed Harry to his office. She was surprised that his office was actually tidy and organized, but she knew not to say anything about these seemingly newfound skills. She watched Harry quickly put away the documents in a black safe and watched as he muttered a locking spell. It glowed brightly before returning its original state. When he finally gave her his full attention, he gestured to the seats in front of his desk.

"So you already know Hendrick?" she asked as she took a seat.

He sat down in the other chair next to hers. "Walkins? Yes, I've come across him during my assignments. He's even helped me out more times than I liked to admit." He chuckled, shaking his head. "He's my first contact when I go anywhere out of England."

"You really could've tracked me down."

He nodded. "I-I had to know where you were and what you were doing."

She frowned at that confession.

"But you never…" she trailed off uncertain that she wanted that thought voiced.

If he had the resources then why had he waited all these years? Why had he waited until the war? Then a cold feeling washed over her, because he wasn't. She was a formidable instrument into ensure success in the war. He had no intention of finding her.

"I wanted to."

His voice drew her out of that cold and dark place her mind had dipped into. She couldn't put it out of her mind that this was just some ploy. He had already used her feelings for him to get her to come back and to indirectly stay. He knew the cause was something that she'd support and she would do anything and everything to make certain they found success in the war. If it wasn't for the war, she would've left again, but now that it was clear that Hendrick and Harry were working together, it would be ridiculous to even attempt to disappear.

She almost jumped when he covered her hand with his. She immediately shifted to his and she took a deep breath. What did Harry up his sleeve?

"You're so stubborn, Hermione."

Once again, she was rendered speechless. She didn't know how counter or react to that statement. She was indeed stubborn, but this didn't seem an appropriate time to talk about personality traits.

"I figured at least I knew where you were and what you were doing," he explained, releasing her hand. He rose to feet, pacing a little bit back and forth in front of her. "I know you, Hermione. Nobody can force you to do anything. Even if I made contact, it didn't ensure that you wouldn't run. I wanted to wait until you were ready to come back, but I had to be best friends with the most stubborn witch of all time."

She opened her mouth to protest, but she knew she would've ran. She would've disappeared again. It wasn't until five years ago that Hendrick had mysteriously requested her to do an assignment. After that, he persuaded her to join Carpe Diem. She frowned, thinking of Harry and Hendrick's obvious alliance.

"You," she gasped. "You planned it."

"I may have pitched the idea to Hendrick to use you for an assignment, but you alone impressed him. It was just convenient for me that he happened to form a bond with you and wanted you to be a part of Carpe Diem."

"Bloody hell, Harry."

He just smirked, leaning against the edge of his desk. She caught his quick scan over her body, but she didn't have any time to process what that meant when his emerald eyes once again locked on hers. If Voldemort ever got introduced to this Harry, she wondered how well the wizard would've fared. Harry had only been a boy when he had to go up against Voldemort. She had noticed the differences in how he carried himself. He was older and much more in tune with himself and his body. She wondered if his mindset changed as well… if that's why he was now with Ginny.

Time to switch the bloody tables on him, she thought to herself. She and Hendrick had a onetime fling during the last five years. There was no true feelings that was tied to it. It was just something casual and fun – an outlet of sorts. She wondered if Hendrick reported back on that to Harry, not that Harry would care. He was obviously still stuck on Ginny. If Harry was going to play upon her emotions, all was fair in love and… bloody war. It was just bloody war now, she decided bitterly.

"You've changed Harry." She got up, venturing closer to him until there was barely a gap between them. "Confidence looks good on you." She leaned over, brushing a kiss against the corner of his mouth as her fingertips trailed down his chest. "I'm certain Ginny likes it."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Interesting tactic."

Hermione frowned at that response. When she opened her mouth to question him, his fingers brushed against her hips. Her eyes widened at the gentle caress before his hands grasped her hips to bring her flush against his body.

"H-Harry," she gasped in surprise.

His eyes drifted to her mouth. "I never thought you'd ever use this form of questioning to get answers, Hermione." She swallowed hard when he switched their positions so now that she was now against the edge of the desk… well, more her sitting on the edge of the desk with Harry wedged between her legs. Bloody hell, what did they teach people in Auror training? "Sweetheart, were you trying to seduce me?"

His mouth was barely inches from hers. His fingers were tracing patterns down her sides, distracting her from… bloody everything.

"Harry, stop. This is stupid."

He just shrugged, backing off from her.

"Just playing off of you," he said. "Word of advice, I wouldn't mention other women while using that tactic."

"I'll have you know that I'm perfectly fine playing those cards," she huffed. She caught him roll his eyes at that. "Hey, I haven't had any complaining targets, might I add?" She almost missed the sudden tension in Harry's body, but she figured it was nothing as she charged on. "Besides, as I see it, I wasn't using this tactic when I had somebody waiting on me."

She was about to jump off the desk when Harry turned towards her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

It was her time to roll her eyes. "Harry, it's okay. If I was in your position right now and with the war, I would've used everything in my arsenal to get what I wanted." She shrugged, trying to act dismissive over his tactics. It bloody well hurt, but she wasn't going to let him in on that. She hopped off the desk. "I'm glad that you finally realized that you were only hurting yourself in the end and went back to Ginny."

Harry's eyes narrowed at that. "You think Ginny and I are together?"

"Well, it's obvious. I mean she kissed you when she found out you were actually still alive and you kissed her outside-"

"I didn't kiss her outside," he cut in. "I was comforting her."

"Oh, sure, if that's what you want to call it-"

"Ron told me she took it pretty hard when the news of my mock death took place and realized that she never got over me. Outside…" he sighed, shaking his head. "I don't really know what possessed me to run after her after we… she looked so bloody hurt and I felt like I needed to clear the air with her. I didn't want her to think I was leading her on or toying with her feelings."

"Oh but you can toy with mine? Isn't that bloody considerate of you-"

He grabbed her, yanking her forward. "I'm not toying with you."

She swallowed hard when his eyes once again lingered on her mouth.

"What do you call this?"

His eyes snapped to hers. "Desperation."

Before she could question him further, voices in the hallway caused them to break apart. Ron came barreling inside with George. They were talking to Harry and Harry was talking back to them. She bit her lip, wondering what he meant by 'desperation'. She watched his eyes flick to hers and she saw the apology of the untimely nature of the Weasleys. She smirked, realizing that this was the second time today that one or more Weasleys interrupted a private moment. She just shrugged and was swept out of Harry's office by George, talking her ear off about something or another with the other two trailing.


	4. Closure

**Disappearance**

**IV. Closure**

The moment Hendrick arrived with the others, Hermione had her eyes pinned upon him. She watched how both her head of operations and her so-called best friend reacted to one another. It was crystal clear that they had a bond past friendship. Two powerful wizards held deep respect and loyalty to one another. How could she have been so blind? She had red flags then, but she hadn't wanted to believe then.

Now that the Auror division and Carpe Diem were now on the same page officially, she watched as the meeting come to the end. She thought of how many ways she could skin and gut Hendrick alive, but she felt it wasn't wise to dwell so intensely with that line of thinking. When Hendrick's eyes finally fell upon her, he stopped short and swallowed. She didn't let her hardened glare soften and she watched him swallow visibly.

_Good_, she thought viciously. _Sweat_.

She continued holding his stare as she purposely got to her feet and walked towards the doorway. She didn't even acknowledge Harry, who was standing right beside him. She kept her eyes trained on her so-called 'friend' and 'confidant'. She watched him tense and silently congratulated herself for proving to shaking her head of operations up. She didn't say one word as she swept out of the room and headed down the hallway.

When she made it outside, she didn't have to wait long at all. She heard his footsteps on the stone, shuffling cautiously towards her. She heard him clear his throat, but she didn't turn around to address him.

"Hermione?" he called out softly.

She rolled her eyes, but she remained still and silent.

"Hermione, I know you're-"

"Livid? Enraged? Betrayed?" She spun around to face her ex-lover as she stared up into his icy blue eyes. Hendrick opened his mouth to protest, but she put her hand up. "What else do you want to call it? You let me believe we had trust between us… respect… bloody friendship. You knew this entire time and didn't care to-"

"Tell you that your beloved best friend, who happens to be the most respected and revered wizard currently on this planet, was keeping tabs on you?" he supplied helpfully. Hermione wanted to wipe that bloody smirk that was making its way upon his rugged face. No, this was no laughing matter! She actually trusted the bloody wizard and he just _used_ her. "I thought it was quite endearing that he wanted to know if his headstrong and incredibly stubborn best friend wasn't in any trouble or danger."

"Hendrick, this isn't a joking matter."

"No, it isn't." He paused for a moment, looking over her expression. He sighed then before continuing. "This wasn't meant to hurt you, Hermione."

"Bloody too late for that," she huffed. "Was it all charade? Everything? Bloody hell, everything between us…" She trailed off as her eyes gave away too much emotion. Teary-eyed, she looked away when Henrick's hard exterior seemed to dissolve. His eyes had softened, but she wouldn't have it. "I don't want to hear your lies or bloody excuses."

She was about to push pass him when he grabbed her arm. "Hermione, stop. It's not what you think-"

"Think?" she chuckled bitterly as she tore her arm away from him. "Is that why you refused to touch me after that assignment? You knew I was spoiled goods? Is that why when I walked into the bloody tavern that first night we got back and regrouped that you were chatting it up with the new recruits?" She sniffed. "I wasn't good enough for Harry bloody Potter so I wasn't good enough for bloody heartthrob of-"

She gasped when Hendrick swung her about so now that he was holding both of her arms. She was so close to him. There wasn't much of space in between them as she looked up into his stormy blue eyes.

"No," he rasped, shaking his head.

His eyes looked down at her mouth and she sucked in a breath as he lowered his head. The kiss was passionate and rough as she allowed him to indulge himself. It reminded her of their heated turbulent affair during that assignment… that assignment neither refused to talk about _ever_. He sighed, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Never that you weren't good enough," he murmured. His eyes were gazing down at hers intensely. "What happened those nights and days was nothing short of paradise, Sweets." She flushed, remembering his endearment for her during that assignment. "But I'm not blind. A wizard like Harry doesn't just keep tabs on his best friend and request for active updates. You are more than capable of handling yourself. He, myself, and you know that. You confirmed my suspicions when you sleep. Your heart and soul calls out to him and you call out for him. It's hard to hear your inner monologue and not want to make that pain go away."

The sharpness pain almost brought her to her knees. She attempted to struggle against him, but he kept her close. His eyes kept upon hers.

"So you felt bloody guilty-"

"Guilt has no place in this discussion," he cut in with one shake of his head, causing her to still at this strange intensity reflecting in those eyes. "It was not guilt that I kissed you the first time and it was absolutely not guilt that I laid you upon that bed in Paris, Hermione. It was not guilt that I held you close, held your hand, or placed kisses on your temple. No, Hermione _that _was all real. You are not that type of woman to play with, Sweets. You're meant to be cherished. I'm not, as you say, _bloody_ stupid." His eyes seem to pierce into her soul and she tried not flinch at the feeling of being exposed and gutted. There was only one other wizard that could that to her. "I do not believe Harry is either."

She frowned at that, but she couldn't think upon it as he once against brought her close and kissed her. This kiss was so much different than the others. He had cupped her cheek, tilting her chin up. His thumb brushed across her mouth before he gently touched his mouth to hers. Sweet, simple, and chaste… until he lazily eased her mouth open and she let him take what he wanted… or needed. She knew Hendrick wasn't Harry, but she also knew that if her heart hadn't been taken that Hendrick would've stolen hers. She wasn't afraid to admit that it caused a chunk of restless nights crying over Hendrick after he pretended that it never happened.

When he pulled away from her, he gave her slight genuine smile. Any anger or doubt had dissolved the moment his eyes met hers. He pulled her into his embrace, holding her tightly against him.

"It was real to me too, Sweets," he whispered in her ear. She kept in her tears as he kissed her cheek. "But I refuse to be your consolation prize. No matter how tempting that may sound."

She chuckled, nodding her head at his reasoning. She understood now and she finally found closure with what had happened between them. There was no more tension between them that seemed to creep up between them. She looked into his eyes and only saw sincerity. She nodded her head in understanding and leaned up to kiss his cheek. She wouldn't want to use him like that either to make him into something he wasn't. Her heart belonged to Harry and she would've never wanted her friendship and bond with Hendrick to suffer due to her loneliness.

"Thank you," she whispered. She brushed at the tears that managed to escape. "This doesn't give you pardon for not telling me that Harry has been keeping tabs on me the entire time."

"Oh, I fully expect you to lay into me with that."

She gave a nod. "Good."

He chuckled as he took a step back, detangling himself from her. She watched him wink at her before he started walking back towards the lair. She frowned when he froze and her eyes traveled past him to see what he was staring at. Her heart tightened when she saw Harry leaning against the wall, just staring at them. How much had he seen or heard? The look in Harry's eyes as he stared openly at them was a bit unnerving.

Hendrick took a deep breath before he moved forward with his back straightened. Hermione admired his will to not cower against Harry like many have. Harry smirked at that – obvious respect in them before his eyes swept over to Hermione. She flushed as he gave her this knowing look. She opened her mouth to speak, but he just turned then and walked back inside.

* * *

><p>Harry seemed fine. Hermione watched him from where she sat at the table in the kitchen, observing him as he conversed with Hendrick and his elite four – Anders, Micah, Lawrence, and Tanner. His elite four were his chief commanders for Carpe Diem's divisions. All four had greeted Hermione and embraced her. She shouldn't have been surprised with Tanner had given her a large duffle bag to find out that they had packed up all her belongings. Were they not expecting her to come back? Tanner had given her arm a squeeze and told her that they fully expect her to still be in Carpe Diem. They just suspected that she just may not be living on the base off assignment anymore.<p>

There was slight tension between Harry and Hendrick, but they were both professionals and acted that way. It was just now more cordial and civil rather than casual and familiar. She noticed the way Harry stiffened slightly when Hendrick addressed her as he told her that they would need her for the first sweep across London to test the grounds. They wanted to set up surveillance if possible during their mission out. Both Harry and Ron looked ready to protest, but they remained silent when she immediately nodded her head. Harry approved of the mini-mission and even alerted the Aurors in their own safehouses across London that Hendrick and the team would check in with each safehouse on their route to rest and plan out their next move from there. Harry also added a small group of Aurors, which included Ron, to help their mission. In case something should go awry and they all needed to split up, Harry figured that having more than one person familiar with London would help. They would be leaving that night.

Hermione looked down at the duffle bag she was holding. She sighed, knowing that maybe an act of confirmation that she was indeed staying would put Harry at ease. It may ease the tension between Harry and Hendrick as well. Hendrick had always entertained the idea of having a member or members or a division that was dual affiliated with the Aurors and Carpe Diem. She now expected that Hendrick had appointed her and was waiting for the opportune moment to make it happen. Considering she was holding all of her belongings, she knew that what his hidden ruling or agenda was. Her eyes met a pair of bright blue eyes and he gave her a slight nod before he was drawn into conversation with Lawrence and Ron.

Taking a deep breath, she walked over to Harry, who was rifling through the documents before him. His hands on the edge of the table with back slightly rounded as he leaned over it. She bit her lip, watching as his eyes slowly rose to hers and his body followed suit as his back straightened. She could feel Hendrick and the team looking at her, waiting for her to make contact.

"Harry, I'm sorry to bother you," she finally pushed out. Harry raised his eyebrow at that before a slightly amused expression softened his features. "I'm-I'm certain that Hendrick and you have talked about the idea of have a cross division between the Aurors and Carpe Diem."

Harry nodded as his eyes widened in realization. "Yes, Hendrick and I have been talking about it, but we've just never got around to establishing it. We need someone who will be able to form the division, but for right now, we just need a starter to see if it would work."

"I believe I'm your starter," she said, looking over at Hendrick. Harry did as well and her head of operation nodded his confirmation. Harry nodded at that, finally noticing the duffle bag. "They brought all of my belongings over. I just need to know where you would like me to set up. I didn't know if you wanted me to stay in the room I'm in now or-"

"Move you into the Auror quarters," he finished. She nodded. "Yes, that's a good idea. You know pretty much everyone already now. There is a room next to mine and across from Ron's that is free. Just give me a few moments and I'll walk you down. I'll report to the ministry with the new development. They'll be happy to have you back on English soil so I'm certain they won't put up a fuss about laws and regulations."

She just smiled at that. Once he packed up his files, she watched him give a nod at Hendrick, who returned it. All was right between them again. She sighed, hating the fact she was a bargaining chip in a way in the world of men. She followed Harry to her new room. He showed her where everything was in the room, setting up the security measures and wards in the process. She tried not to show how impressed she was how at ease he was now charming the room. It shouldn't be a surprise, considering his line of work, but it was surprise nonetheless.

Once Harry had stopped and turned to her, he took one look at her face and chuckled at her expression.

"Didn't think I had it in me?" he predicted.

She smirked. "Always knew. Just didn't know if you'd ever feel secure enough to perform this level of magick."

"Responsibility and tragedy does that for you."

She nodded in understanding. Their line of work required them to be 'secure' in what they were and what they did. Many depended one them to do so. In a way, she understood why Harry had to give up Ginny. In a different world devoid of all this chaos, he would most likely be happily married to the redhead with a family. He didn't want to drag Ginny into this way of living. The life they lived was unpredictable and dangerous. Before she hadn't understood, but now living the way they did, she truly understood why he was so adamant about not giving in.

Then again, if Ginny was in love with Harry as Hermione believed she was, she was certain the redhead would give up living in the comforts of the world to live on base with Harry. From what she was gathering from the others, all the Aurors now lived in a stationed facility. Their families would live with them as well. It would provide them peace of mind and security.

"There's only one problem with this room," Harry told her, bringing her out of her thoughts. He gestured to the bathroom. She walked over and peered in, noticing that it was connected to another room. He walked on through and she followed him. "We have a connecting bathroom. This originally was a part of my quarters. For right now, this is all I can offer you until the war is over. It's too risky to come in and change the blueprint-"

"It's okay, Harry," Hermione spoke up. "I understand."

Harry sighed. "We'll figure the specifics out later."

"But it'll be fine now."

"I'll be at my desk," he informed her, pointing to the desk in the corner of the room. "Feel free to come get me if you need anything."

She nodded her head as she watched him walk over to his desk. He placed his files on the desk and scouted around until he was seated in the desk chair. She smiled at the sight of him working so diligently. If only he would be focused and studying like now when he was in Hogwarts, she mused as she made her way towards the bathroom. She stopped, biting her lip. She knew Harry was a busy man, but maybe he wouldn't mind being pulled away. She turned back and almost forgot what she was going to say when she locked unto a pair of emerald eyes.

"Yes?" he chuckled.

"I know you're busy," she said. "I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind keeping me some company. I can transfigure a desk right away in my room and you can work there." Surprise lit his face and eyes. She swallowed, wondering if she was moving too fast now. Would he even want to be around her after everything they went through? "It's just been awhile, you know? We haven't really talked… well, actually talked or caught up. I just thought it would be nice before I went out in the field tonight."

There was uncomfortable silence that endured. She bit her lip as she attempted to quickly excuse herself. She tried to appear unfazed by his rejection while she headed into the bathroom. She almost didn't hear him call out her name with the roar of belittling thoughts ran amuck through her mind and heart. She stopped in the bathroom for a moment, thinking that maybe she had only hoped to have heard him calling out her name. She was about to walk through into her room when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Hermione?" he chuckled. "I was calling your name."

She flushed. "I'm sorry. I think I was in my own little world."

"I can see that," he teased. "Already thinking up ways to organize your room?" She forced a smile on her lips, disguising the truth of what was going on in her mind and heart behind it. "I was just asking if you wanted me to bring some tea."

Her breath caught at that. So he did want to spend time with her? She quickly nodded her head and he smiled at that. He gave her arm a gentle squeeze and told her that he would gather everything while she got started on the room. For the first time she got back, she felt a spark of hope over their friendship. If he was only using her for her talents and skill to win the war, he wouldn't take the time to keep her company. Maybe there was a chance for a renewed strong friendship. Or maybe he just feels the need to get closer to her now because he took her in as his responsibility?

That dark thought struck fear within her. She had just transfigured the desk in the corner of her room as the thought became quicksand to her. Nothing would ever be the same between Harry and herself. Their old friendship shattered by her inability to keep being his friend, remembering exactly why she had left in the first place. Hendrick had told her that she had called out to Harry in her sleep and she wondered if she could really keep a professional relationship with now one of her bosses. Her track record wasn't exactly in her favor as she considered Hendrick… or even her track record with Harry. She managed to hide all this within herself when Harry walked in with his files, tea, sugar, a teapot, and two teacups.

_Be a better friend and confidant than you were_, she thought to herself as she watched him place everything on the desk. When he looked up at her, she gave him a slight smile. A slight frown crossed his face before disappearing as he returned the smile with a genuine one. It was sickening how it made her poor heart jump the way it did. The guilt and shame of it caused her look down and away before she started arranging her room. She should've noticed when his eyes changed, but she hadn't until it was too late. By off chance, she had stolen a quick glance in his direction. There was this inquisitive intensity in them and she knew that he knew something had changed in the course of moments. She bit her lip, knowing it was going to be much harder to keep her feelings in check when this much older and mature Harry knew all the signs when someone was withholding information from him.

Her only hope is when everything was settled and her upcoming mission was over that Harry would've figured out what to do with her – where to station her, where he wanted her exactly in the Auror division, and when he wanted her to leave the lair. Now that he didn't have to worry about her leaving in general, he could concentrate on other things that mattered. After all, he brought her back not because he wanted her here, but because he needed her in the war effort.


End file.
